Valentine-less? So what exactly are you complaining about?
If there’s one thing I can’t stand about Valentine’s Day it’s seeing all of these single girls post depressing photos and quotes and talk about how they’re #sosingleithurts and all of that nonsense. You are doing it SO terribly wrong if you don’t celebrate Galentine’s Day, aka celebrate-your-singleness-with-your-favorite-gals day. The whole idea of a traditional Valentine’s Day has always been so corny to me. I’m not exactly the romantic type, nor am I one to be swept off my feet or swoon over anyone or anything. The thought of exchanging gifts of teddy bears and candy and Hallmark cards just doesn’t appeal to me, and until the day someone makes me feel otherwise, here’s my How To: A Survival Kit for a Successful Valentine’s Day for the Single Ladies.
- You can literally get wasted with your girlfriends. Like I don’t even need to continue the list after this. I will, but I don’t need to. What is better than this?
- PIGGING OUT. What do you mean ONE entree? I’ll eat as much sushi/pizza/snacks as I want. And I’ll wear my fat pants.
- You don’t have to answer to any annoying or boring questions that you don’t feel like speaking about. Do you really care about what I do at work? Do I really feel like talking about it? No.. and no..
- Do I even have to explain the bright side of not having to do your hair and makeup? You can actually have a messy bun on top of your head AND a mud mask on. All while eating sushi in your fat pants (see #2).
- You can scroll through your Instagram timeline and like anyone’s pictures you want without being yelled at. *Double taps everywhere*
- Even better than the Instagram scroll, you can snapchat ANYONE YOU WANT. WITH THE PUPPY FILTER.
- And the puppy filter has pink ears for V-Day. So get make sure your squad is ready to help you out with the right things to say when you get those DMs because once that little arrow shows ‘Read,’ the clock is ticking. And you WILL get DMs with the pink eared puppy filter.
- This day is your selfie platform right here. Do not pass up the opportunity to showcase how damn cute you are with a selfie to remind everyone that you are riding SOLO. And throw on some fishnets. 200+ likes for you. Guaranteed.
- You can binge watch The Bachelor without having to explain how the show works. *Headache*
- Most importantly, you can shop Valentine’s Day sales before they end because, well, you’re home and not out on a date. So a laptop is easily accessible and your favorite stores are only a click away.
To see how I feel about Valentine’s Day summed up in one photo rather than reading a bulleted list, see below: