10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming My Own Boss

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming My Own Boss

 

 

  1. Absolutely No One Will Ever be You, so Don’t Expect YOU from Others…

This has quite possibly my biggest weakness, but most valuable lesson. In my industry, I work with loads of people. I communicate with women ages 18 to about 45 on what feels like a 24/7 basis. They ask for tips, they ask for feedback, they seek assistance. I give, and majority of the time feel like I’m left talking to myself. Why is this? I expect people to utilize resources the same way I did back when I was first starting my career. Now listen up, this applies to any and all industries. It doesn’t matter what field you’re in, if you work with people, you can relate.

To this day, I would do every single thing any person more successful than me would tell me to do. Why would I not? I want success, don’t I? So, to me, it’s as simple as that. I want success, so I will do whatever it takes to have it. Here’s the catch: it’s not that simple for most people. Most people kinda want it. Most people have a plan B… they even have a plan C! Most people prepare for failure. “It’s OK if this doesn’t work, I’ll just go back to (insert job they absolutely hate but know they can rely on for backup).” I don’t have a plan B. This IS my only plan. Plan A is the only plan I need, because every single time I fail, I will figure out a way to overcome it and succeed. I will never find an escape route.

If you often find yourself talking to yourself like I said above, realize this- you’re talking to people who have plan B on deck and plan C warming up around the corner right now. No one is you. Stop expecting you from others.

2. The Big Don’t Eat the Small, the Fast Eat the Slow…

The best thing I’ve ever done was hit the ground running the second I began. A lot of people have a tendency to get “overwhelmed” (which I call a load of bullshit majority of the time) in uncomfortable situations, so they want to pace alongside and see how things go. Let me make one thing clear: jogging on the sidelines is equivalent to sitting the game out and watching from the bleachers. There is ALWAYS somebody who wants it more than you. Someone is training right now for your spot. Someone is about to sprint right passed you, because you’re too busy getting comfortable first.

You cannot be one foot in one foot out if you intend on ever being self-employed. You have to go head first diving right in to the deep end. Do you think any self-made millionaires and billionaires invested into themselves/their new company and then said, “I’ll see if this works for me.” NO. NOT A CHANCE! They invested and then worked for it. The FAST always know they have to put in the work in order to make it work. The slow will always believe things have to work for them.

3. Make Your Bed Every Morning and Have a Designated Workspace

STOP. WORKING. FROM. BED. For the first 14 months of starting my business, I worked the entire thing from bed. I still lived home. I had very limited space so my bedroom was my only privacy and there was no means of desk/office space. Once I picked up and moved to Florida this may, having my own apartment has assisted me in making SO. MANY. productive changes in my business. Waking up and making my bed every morning has prevented me from going in it at all during the day. I used to nap every single day; I was comfortable in bed, it was practically impossible not to. Taking an hour (or more) out of my day to nap would make me so sleepy, so groggy, and put off half of the things on my to-do list. “Eh, it’s fine, I’ll just do that tomorrow. It wasn’t that important.”

Sitting at my desk everyday has me tackling every single thing on my to-do list everyday. It’s like having an accountability buddy. You wouldn’t get up and walk away from your accountability buddy, would you? (If you would, you suck.) So for all of the non-sucky people who said no, they wouldn’t, this is exactly that. You’re not going to just get up from your desk to go lay in bed. You’re going to finish what you’ve started and then take your break when it’s deserved. And be real with yourselves people, you do not deserve a break just for doing the bare minimum. Get shit done.

4. You Have to Make Your Dream Your #1 Priority

I seriously mean this. Literally nothing can come first. You have to make a lot of sacrifices and, honestly, upset a lot of people. Your significant other will understand the purpose of what you’re doing if they are a good partner. If your partner is insecure, immature, and small minded, they will not understand. Their ego will tell them you’re being a bad partner because of how much time you’re dedicating to your dream. An understanding partner will be OK with sacrificing certain things for periods of time knowing the bigger picture, and knowing what amazing things are coming for the both of you as a result of your dedication and hard work. Your friends will be proud of you if they are good friends. Your lazy friends who have no life goals, no ambition, and no desire to better themselves will start to gossip about you. They’ll say what you’re doing is crazy, they’ll say you’ve fallen off the face of the earth, blah blah blah. A true friend will know you’re not crazy, you’re passionate, and you haven’t gone MIA, you’re busy creating your dream life.

Every single person who is meant to be a part of your life, will be there cheering you on as you achieve each goal. The people who don’t understand, will be standing at a finish line waiting for you to cross it. Here’s what they don’t understand: there is no finish line. You’re a dreamer, you will always want more.

5. You Cannot Fool ANYONE. Half-Ass Work Will Never Pass For Diligence

You cannot fill out half an assignment, hand it in to your professor, and expect an A+. Something I always say is I may not be the most successful person in the room, or make the most money, but I will always be the hardest worker in the room. No matter what room I’m standing in. And if I’m standing in a room with someone works harder than me, I will step it up and work harder. I’m not going to leave the room to find lazier people to make myself feel better. I’m not going to find people who do the bare minimum. I’m going to stay right where I am and get more shit done until I earn my stripes. That is why in 3 months of pursuing my side gig, I was able to turn it into a full time career and become self-employed. I woke up earlier in the morning to work my side-gig before I went into my full time job. I worked my side-gig at my job when my manager wasn’t looking. I worked my side-gig on my lunch break, and usually went over time so I can finish what I was working on. I barely showered after I got home so I could work my side-gig with no distractions. I stayed up until 3, 4 AM so I can work my side-gig. I worked until my side-gig tripled my salary, so I can stop calling it a side-gig.

When people who put in half the time expect the same results, I’m always extremely straight up and tell them you get what you give. People aren’t going to pick up what you’re putting down if you put it down every now and then, or occasionally. People aren’t going buy what you’re selling if you half ass your work. News flash to myself: hardly anyone might even read this blog due to the fact that I post on my blog once in a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if it got no views, being that I half ass my blog and put in the absolute bare minimum of work. So if you’re attempting to take something full time, you MUST work hard at it. People will know when you don’t.

6. You’re Going to Fail More Than You Succeed, So Keep Your Eyes on The Prize…

Tunnel vision is extremely important. When you start comparing to other people, it’s absolute turmoil. Complete recipe for disaster! STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. Realize this: failure and success are not two different paths. They are one path. You would never know what success tastes like if you haven’t tasted failure first. And more often than not, you’re going to taste failure. Someone else might be doing “better” than you, and you start to question everything. HOW is she doing that? WHY is nothing I’m doing working? WHEN is it going to be my turn? WILL I ever even see the light at the end of the tunnel? It’s very easy to lose sight of the prize if you take your eyes off of it. When you keep your eyes on the prize, you no longer see failure as failure, you just see it as doing the do, like stepping stones on the road to your milestone.

Here’s a perfect example, I hit Associate Executive Director in my company in December 2018. It was my 9th month in the business, and I felt on top of the world. At the rate I was going, I’d be Senior Executive Director in only a couple more months. Welp, that would’ve been nice, but that’s not what happened. I never even maintained my rank of AED again until November 2019. I spent January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, and October working for something that just would not happen. Yes, I listed every single month so you can realize how tiring it is to go through 10 months of failure. So when people try something once or twice and complain that it’s not working, I have no choice but to laugh. I mean this in, well, I guess there’s no nice way to say this: you will literally never survive as your own boss if you complain every time you fail.

7. With All of That Being Said, Celebrate Small Wins…

You work hard! You deserve to celebrate that. The second you start to celebrate the small wins, you stop paying attention to the failures. Remember how I said I missed the same rank 10 months in a row? I didn’t even realize how much I was failing until I officially hit the rank again. When I hit AED in November, I was like “wow, I literally just worked for that over and over and over this entire year.” I didn’t even see all of those months as failure, because I looked at all the other wins I had. I built a bigger team, I assisted other people to their ranks, I gained a new clientele, my team increased our monthly sales by almost $300k, I moved to a new city, I hosted fun events, I traveled to new places, I hosted new training calls, I learned how to use new apps, I produced better content, the list goes on…

Look back on the times you failed at one thing, and count all of the wins you had. You probably failed at one thing while winning at five other things. But because you’re not in the right mindset, you’re more focused on the failure. Open your mind to ALL growth, not just one thing, and celebrate every part of it.

8. The Day You Accept Excuses, You Must Expect Excuses…

A lot of people are going to waste your time. I’ll tell you the secret to how to get people to stop wasting your time: stop letting them waste it. So many people accept time wasters. They let people think it’s OK to waste their time. If you feel like you are so often getting excuses from people- hear me when I say this: I attribute my success to this, I never gave or took any excuse. I decided what I want in life, and I say NO to everything else. Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to say yes to. Stop accepting excuses from people. When people say “thank you,” tell them “you’re welcome.” Stop saying, “no problem,” or “no no, thank YOU!” When you accept thanks for your time, you will stop giving your time to people who are not thankful for it. When you see the value in your time, you will only give your time to people who also see that value.

You must wholeheartedly believe in the value of your time. Make people schedule time blocks with you. If they fail to show, don’t offer a second one. Tell them you’ll let them know when you can find another time for them. And if you can’t find the time, so be it. They had the chance already. Call people on their bullshit. If they’re giving you excuses, straight up say, “I don’t feel like you’re valuing my time, so I have to give it to someone else.” People will literally not know what to do with themselves. They’re so used to people just accepting their bullshit, that they’re going to have the biggest reality check of their lives simply by you saying no. My favorite part about doing this is that those same people will never bother me again. They will not dare come back to waste my time again because they know they can’t. If you allow it once, it’ll happen twice.

9. If Your Why is Not Powerful, Your Business Will Not Go Very Far…

Why do you want to be your own boss? Isn’t it easier to just get a job and work for someone else? Why do you want to work day in and day out, 100 hours a week, with fluctuating pay, when you can just work 40 hours a week for a set paycheck and enjoy your nights and weekends? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!??!!? Here’s the deal, most people have no idea why they’re doing this. It just sounds good… be your own boss.. travel, work from home, report to no one.. etc. Well, all of that glamour comes with really unattractive hard work. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears. You will have sleepless nights, days where you forget to brush your teeth, stay in the same pajamas for 72 hours, let your manicure grow out so long your hair gets stuck in it because you need a fill in.. for someone who has no WHY driving them, this is going to sound like a huge waste of time and not worth it. If you have a why driving you, you won’t even realize all of those things. They’ll become your norm.

A why can’t be some tangible thing. You aren’t sacrificing your hygiene because you hate your boss. You can always just get another job if that’s the case. But when you really dig deep and discover why you’re doing this, this will all be worth every second.

Why am I doing what I do? Because I want to inspire. I want to show others how to live their highest self by leading the way through my own self love and my self respect. I want that to be duplicated, especially onto people who haven’t yet figured out how to have unconditional love and respect for themselves. I’m doing this because I want people to learn from witnessing my example of showing up everyday as the highest version of myself. I have a powerful voice and I will not stop at anything until its heard by millions across the world, and leaves a positive mark on people. I want to leave people better than I found them. That is why I did not settle for a normal life, and did all of the unsexy things to live in my greatness. So why are you?

10. Lastly, Fuck What People Think

And I don’t mean this in some scream-it-for-Instagram-stories-in-front-of-friends-but-go-home-and-cry-when-no-one’s-looking kind of way. I seriously mean this from the bottom of my heart. If you let them get in your head, you might as well give them the pin number to your bank account. If there’s anything I can guarantee, it’s this, a negative mindset will have negative results. I absolutely promise that a positive mindset will defeat all things and have a positive outcome. Even if it takes a long time, you will have positive results. Your mindset will change from “if” to “when.” It will no longer be a matter of “if this works out,” or “if I achieve this,” and you’ll find yourself saying, “when I have this,” or “when I accomplish that.”

You absolutely have to have thick skin in order to be your own boss. You have to want it so bad that everyone else is on mute. You have to be so obsessed with your goal that you can’t even hear negativity. You have to be the only voice in your head, because the second you hear everyone’s opinions and let it get to you, you’re done. Fill yourself up with positive thoughts and act on them. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. What type of tribe is your vibe attracting? When you’re the boss, you wear many hats. Put your power cap on and put all the haters on silent. When you’re working toward a masterpiece, negativity cannot even touch you. When you’re drowning in positivity, its going to hurt people who aren’t happy with themselves. You will never be judged by someone who is doing better than you, only less. You will never be judged by someone who is happy with their lives. If they’re happy for themselves, they’ll be happy for you.

So please don’t let an unhappy person get to you. I promise, they will be unhappy either way. You will never be able to please these people. So do yourself a favor, and only live to please yourself.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Kayde
    January 10, 2020 / 1:58 am

    This article is beyond amazing Vic. So inspirational and important for everyone to read ❤️

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